Singles guide to Valentine’s Day!
K Valentine’s Day—it’s the most romantic day of the year, right? For some, maybe, especially if you’re in a relationship, falling in love, or excited by a new crush. But for others—even those in happy relationships—the occasion is gag-worthy. Really, like most things, it’s all a matter of personal preference. That said, if you’re single on Valentine’s Day, it’s totally normal to feel a tad lonely, grumpy, and/or tired of it all. Get one thing straight, though: there ain’t nothing wrong with being single on Valentine’s Day—or any day.
Here I offer you some steamy ways to spice up good ol’ V-Day when you’re single, horny and just want to make the day something you will enjoy and make you feel loved.
- Flirt with your online crush
I’m gonna jump right in here and say that while being single is something we all need to be at various times in our lives, you’ve got needs. Whether you’re looking for love or simply looking for some attention (and maybe even some action), own it. If you’re one of the rare holdouts who has yet to install Tinder or any of the kajillion other dating sites/apps—but you secretly want to—go ahead and give it a try already. Don’t take it too seriously, but at the very least, see what’s out there. If you’re already well accustomed to the circus that is online dating and you’ve managed to narrow your roster down to a love interest or two, I say flirt the night away via phone, chat, or—if you trust them— a FaceTime call.
- Pleasure yourself
You don’t need a hot date to get lucky on Valentine’s Day—or ever. Go ahead, up the ante with a new toy. Pleasure is yours to harness 365 days a year, after all. So revamp that toy chest and prepare to let the good times roll, babe. Whether you’re in need of some good vibes, filling up on some dildo delights or some anal adventuring, simply break out your fave toy and rock your way to V-Day bliss. Hell, rock your way to everyday bliss.
- Love yourself
Self-love can take many forms. Go ahead and pamper yourself with a face mask, DIY mani-pedi, a relaxing bath, candles, incense, relaxing music—whatever calls you. Don’t want to go out? There are lots of little luxuries you can enjoy at home that can make the day feel romantic—and romance is not just for couples! Self-care can feel romantic when you treat yourself exactly the way you like. Food delivery apps are likely going to be swamped that night, so it might make more sense to plan on making dinner instead. Make sure you have all the ingredients you need to treat yourself and make your favourite meal. Maybe that includes a fancy beverage, and maybe some dessert, too, if you’re feeling ambitious. If you’re not a baker (or, if you reached your limit baking all those Christmas goodies not to long ago ), get something decadent delivered a few days before and freeze it. Take the ambiance up a notch and prepare playlists to dine, dance, and get dirty to. Deep down, you know what you need. And/or, if there’s something that you've been dying to get, but have been too afraid to splurge on, do it. Whatever you do, treat yo’self.
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- Write a letter to your ex and burn it!
If you’re like me and still coping with some leftover rage or heartbreak, do yourself a favor and process it in an intentional way this V-Day. Write a letter to your ex with good old-fashioned pen and paper, running through any and all unfinished business stirring in your mind, and then burn that shit. This can be incredibly therapeutic. Love isn’t all chocolate and flowers. Sometimes, you just gotta let it burn so something new can grow in its place.
- Learn your love language
Ever heard of love languages? The term has really grown in popularity in recent years. In essence, your love language is how you prefer to give and receive affection from others (romantic or otherwise). Committing to learning a bit more about how you work can do wonders! There’s many quizzes and books to help! Knowing your love language is a great way to gain a deeper understanding of what will actually make you happy and satisfied in a relationship.
- Unplug for a day
Social media is everything, yes. But it can also be addictive, and toxic. It has the power to make even the most confident and independent people compare themselves to others. One of the most heinous things on Valentine’s is the endless sea of soppy status on Facebook and other social media. It’s cute if you want to show off your love, but not always nice to be on the receiving end of these notifications! Take a break from social media if you need to, you’ll be surprised by how free you feel without it and how much time you suddenly have. V-Day is a great time for an annual unplug if you ask me, and a great way to avoid the bombardment of mind-meltingly lovey posts. Do one better and take a hike, a walk in a park, or just stand outside and breathe some fresh air. Connecting with nature (however you can) can do wonders to ground you and give you a fresh perspective.
- Get creative
Whether it’s an old painting you never finished, a novel you haven’t had time to work on, or a piano that taunts you as you pass it by, un-retire that shit and make a date with your inner fire, your creativity.
- Make Valentines, and send ‘m out
Giving actual, physical valentines is not just for little kids. After all, there’s no joy like getting Valentine's Day cards from your friends. Plus, if you’re stuck for ways to harness that aforementioned creativity, this one’s pretty perfect. Why not channel your affection into making some cute ’n flirty Valentines cards for everyone you love? Love, after all, tends to have a boomerang effect. And, if you have a crush, you might even send one their way too—whether anonymously…or not. YOLO, baby.
- Throw an Anti-Valentine's Day party
There’s no law against anti-Valentine’s Day parties. Chances are you're not the only single person you know, so why not recruit the single people in your life and get together for some wine, some conversation, and some stories of perpetual singledom? If you’re like us, you can probably count on one hand how many times you’ve worn anything other than pyjama pants or jogging pants this past year. Putting on a nice outfit is bound to feel extra festive, plus you don’t have to take a coat and winter boots into consideration. Celebrate being single together. And, if you happen to be on the prowl, be sure to invite any (single) love interests as well!
Not everyone is in a relationship on Valentine’s Day, and some people don’t want to be in a relationship, ever, and that’s fine! It can be quite isolating to be single on V-Day, so it’s important to remember to practice self-love. Reconnect with single friends during this time, and make sure they know they’re loved too! If you don’t feel like spending time with anyone else on Valentine’s, make sure to take care of yourself. Have a bubble bath, buy yourself a little gift, or take yourself out on a date!
Bottom line: every day is for every one of us. So seize love this V-Day by doing justice to the love in your life: give it and get it in anyway you feel inspired to. Because that’s the stuff of life.
Here’s to a very happy—and stress-free—Valentine’s Day! 🥂
Shay Lassen